Wonder what happened. When letting human emotion rule faith. Why letting circumstance overcome faith. When did hope turn to despair, when did promise end. When did God stop loving one, when did He start forsaking one… When did God say no?

One looks around and things to one seems to be getting worse, harder and painful with no sign of letting up and one says, God where are you and instead of one digging deeper, one runs away… far way and then wonders why no answer.

One can’t seem to see the light or how one can rebuild, start over and just change current situations. But is it one that will do this or is it the Almighty One that will do the changing at His own timing.

With every breath one feels more suffering and things of the past keep repeating itself. The wounds are opened and the wounds keep getting deeper. The scars keep reprinting themselves and the threshold for the pain keeps getting weaker and weaker and soon it will break and effects will overflow leading to unredeemable decisions leaving a trail of un-forgiveness and broken relationships. Things are now what they never should have been.

How does one stop the bleeding? Will the bleeding ever stop. Can’t one see light, why can’t one see the light? Why is it so difficult to read the words of hope? It is difficult, very difficult.

Isaiah 43:16, 18-19 NIV, is hard to accept/swallow – why. It is truth but it is difficult to rest in those words… it shouldn’t be. Feelings should not have the final say but why should these feelings exist in the first place.

This what the Lord says –he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

Cannot perceive, cannot forget the former things, one just keeps dwelling on things that one must not. Fresh wounds and old wounds cut the same and keep staying open. There is no healing, there should be healing. One needs healing.